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So, the Macalope is off Twitter.
He hopes it isn’t like that point he stopped dairy after which awoke in a Chilly Stone Creamery toilet, cookie dough ice cream throughout his face and the supervisor pounding on the door. That was embarrassing. She is making an attempt to be stronger this time.
It is exhausting! Twitter has been part of her life for 15 years! Longer than the iPhone! However for instance that the present administration of Twitter is just not working for the cuckold.
You is likely to be amused to keep in mind that it was solely 5 years in the past that individuals have been suggesting that Apple ought to…
Wait a second. Swallow any liquid in your mouth. Transfer alongside. Take your time. Okay, prepared? Right here we go.
… purchase Tesla and make Elon Musk the CEO of Apple.
And why was this speculated to be a good suggestion? As a result of Elon Musk is an astronaut who makes issues and Tim Prepare dinner is an fool who cannot innovate. Musk was praised for making electrical automobiles and batteries and for being such a forward-thinking thinker on clear vitality. He later set that repute on fireplace and dumped it in a dumpster behind a burning Exxon by embracing cryptocurrencies, which use large quantities of vitality for the only real goal of holding a sequence of Ponzi schemes operating.
Now people, once you lookup “issues that have not aged nicely” within the dictionary… you will not discover it as a result of there are six phrases. However in case you have been there, you’d see this quote from the article Macalope gored within the piece linked above:
Elon Musk is the unstoppable innovation big of our time.
His foremost improvements in latest weeks have been to fireplace everybody (then attempt to rent a few of them again), alienating advertisers, permitting racists and different unhealthy actors again on the platform, and ruining the that means of checkmarks. There’s most likely a ton of different stuff, however he is making it exhausting to maintain up with all of it. Now, on the intense facet, he is helped foster a brand new crop of would-be Twitter replacements, as Mastodon has seen an enormous inflow of customers and different providers like Hive, Cohost and Put up are additionally taking off. His revolutionary strikes on Twitter are fueling a complete new marketplace for replacements. Genius.
Are you able to think about being caught on a good smaller planet with this man? He can not help however go in and spoil one thing the Macalopes preferred and the Macalopes by no means even knew about.
It additionally innovated Tesla’s inventory value, which began the 12 months at round $400 a share and is now round $169. Nonetheless, the final two digits of that quantity would most likely make Musk snigger as he intoned “Good.” to an empty tenth flooring Twitter at three within the morning.
Should you’re studying this and saying “BUT, MACALOPE, WHAT ABOUT FREEDOM OF SPEECH? WHAT ABOUT FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS?”, To begin with, as soon as once more, the Macalope should level out that he cannot hear you. This isn’t how the web works. Unsure the place you bought the concept that it labored that means, however it’s mistaken.
Second, go learn another person’s article. Scare away. As a result of that is nonsense. The First Modification means authorities You possibly can’t management what you say. It doesn’t suggest that you may stroll into Macalope’s home and describe her colonoscopy in graphic element and that there is nothing you are able to do about it. If that appears too sophisticated for you, here’s a cartoon that may clarify it to you. If you wish to examine some present Threats to the First Modification, right here you go.
And Musk’s weird beliefs in regards to the significance of creating Twitter a haven for racists and liars might run afoul of Apple’s App Retailer guidelines. App Retailer boss Phil Schiller has now eliminated his Twitter account. As The Verge factors out, each Apple and Google have tips for acceptable content material that characterize the kind of expertise they need individuals to have when utilizing the apps out there of their shops. If Twitter turns into the go-to place for hurling racial epithets at individuals, it might look off the shelf of Apple and Google shops.
That may make issues a bit troublesome for Edge Lord Vader.
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Apple dodged a Tesla-sized bullet by ignoring this advice